Okay there’s a line in Avengers #3 where Spider-Man offhandedly quips that he should have gone with Luke’s team…except he did. I just saw him there doing stuff. And its written by the same guy. Spider-Man is going to show up wherever he’s needed to slightly pump sales across the Marvel line and there’s going to be a certain point where accounting for his where abouts but fuck its two books written by the same guy where such accounting could not only be possible but an interesting story point. And those text back ups? The last three of those have been about fellating Captain America via the written word via “interviews” with the Avengers who all sound the same any way. I read them out-of-order accidentally. Didn’t really make a difference.
So a kid tells me that he likes the Martian Manhunter and wants to read some stuff about him. I thinks to myself I thinks “Brightest Day has the Martian Manhunter! This last issue had him on the cover with his name and drawn all David Finch pinchy face and veiny and stuff!” I looks at the kid though, take a second and then I asks, ” Hey bud how old are you?” He says to me he’s 8. And that’s Brightest Day #6 out the window with its opening of a picnicking family be horribly slaughter onscreen the Father’s head being CHOPPED IN HALF HORIZONTALLY onscreen for God and every one to see. Combined that with the zombie sea life, Somali rape pirates, a baby bird getting its skull bashed in, and Hawkman I got the kid some old issues of Justice League Adventures.
Do you remember that episode of South Park where Cartman starts a Christian rock band and his songwriting method was to replace key words in pre-existing songs with Jesus. Then when he gets a meeting with a record company they ask him if he’s really in love with Jesus based off the lyrics. I think Geoff Johns does that but with Hal Jordan and just hasn’t had those fuckers recorded and pressed to vinyl yet.
Good: I liked that they didn’t try to make Green Lantern Corps #50 oversized or special or monumental or life changing. It was just an issue. The big font 50 will suffice thank yew.
Bad: An art style from the Stephen Platt school of “I’ve never met a line I didn’t like and placing shading under the eyes is the same as conveying emotion.”
Ugly: Poor Cyborg Superman who was almost interesting a couple of years ago when his story was about him wanting to die and then he did die till he didn’t and now he’s back doing something for some reason. Shit.
You know what the opposite of Lost is? The dangling plot threads of Spider-Man: One More Day which I personally and I’d like to think most people was hoping would swept into the dust bins of Lets Not Get Into That now that the book is super awesome. Well they did. Wanna know why Spider-Man didn’t get married? A fat guy fell on him.
-Daniel Von Egidy, 2010